she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize