you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
