Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
