Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
