please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize