Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she smelled like a LAN party
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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