Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize