going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
