I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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