haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
