I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
