I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
