He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
