that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
