We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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