After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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