My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
