HIV tests are more positive than that guy
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
