My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize