I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
