and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
