To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
