I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
