I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
