Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
