so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
