Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
