Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
