it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
