If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
