Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
