I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
