The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
