my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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