i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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