My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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