Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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