He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
