i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize