if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
