I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
