so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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