i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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