it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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