this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
