don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize