You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
