don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He better not be in your backpack
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
