Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
