i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
