I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
