This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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