I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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