you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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