Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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