the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
