I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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