I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
