im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this beer tastes like vomit already
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
