dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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