I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
