I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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