All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize